“Jared Fogle–Charged with Soliciting Sex with Minors”
“Adultery site Ashley Madison hacked, personal data leaked”
“Josh Duggar admits to Ashley Madison account”
If you’ve been awake the last few days I’m sure you’ve seen the headlines and heard the news about the solicitation and child porn charges against former Subway spokesman, Jared Fogle, and the leak of all the data from the adult dating site, Ashley Madison. But what do all of these headlines have in common? These headlines have opened the door and exposed the marital problems of many couples.
While the headlines are focusing on the actions of many men such as Jared Fogle, Josh Duggar, of 19 Kids and Counting, and the users of Ashley Madison, what the headlines are not talking about is the women attached to these men and how their actions have effected these marriages.
What do you do when your problems are no longer hidden behind closed doors?
When your marriage hits a rocky spot it’s bad enough when your close friends and family know the details of your problems. Everyone has an opinion of what they would do if they were in your shoes. But the truth is, you don’t know what you would do until you are facing that situation head on.
No one is really talking about how Josh Duggar’s wife Anna feels. Can you imagine that within a matter of months the nation finds out that your husband not only molested his sisters, as a teenager, but that he also had two accounts on Ashley Madison and was paying for “an affair guaranteed”. I can’t imagine the heartache that she is experiencing right now, knowing that while she was at home, pregnant and caring for their children, that he was searching out other women for sex.
What about Jared Fogle’s wife? I think finding out that your husband was paying for sex with underage children and collecting child porn would be a much harder pill to swallow than knowing that he was on an online dating site. While she wasted no time in filing for divorce you know she still has to be hurting emotionally.
I personally know what it feels like when other people know about your marital problems. A couple of years ago my husband made some choices that damaged our relationship. My family and close friends knew of the situation. When we made the decision to work things out I had to listen to everyone else’s opinions about what they thought that I should do.
The truth is, no matter whether your problems are kept secret or broadcast all over the nation, it’s your decision as to how you handle the situation and the decisions you make moving forward.
Whether Anna Duggar decides to stay with her husband Josh or whether she will get a divorce is her decision, not one that the nation can make for her. Whatever decision she chooses it is not our place to judge her.
The whole Ashley Madison situation reminds me of the book The Scarlet Letter, that I had to read in high school. If someone makes a poor decision, will we brand them so that they are marked by that poor decision the rest of their lives? Will we brand their wives in the same manner?
In the days to come, the women behind the men involved in these scandals, have a lot of decisions to make. Let’s not judge them and their decisions because you never really know what decisions you would make until you are facing that situation yourself.