I look back at all the times I did my trust my instincts and cringe. Sometimes we just *know* we need to or do not need to do something, and generally our first thought is the best choice. It is basic animal survival, much of which over time has gone by the wayside. (Just like primal eating has fallen by the wayside, and look at our bodies! Yes, I’m going to interject about the Paleo Diet here!) while I was having this newest pity party I found a new to me paleo blog, http://www.findingaskinnierme.blogspot.com. I hope this author writes more about the journey. I’ll have to check back again soon!
Due to recent events, I feel I might be getting better at this trusting uour gut thing. For example, when I told you about the guy with the blog that I accidentally found, with postings about me. Well, just out of curiosity I check out his Facebook fan page from time to time. I’m so happy there was zero chemistry. Before the date, I told my friend I almost didn’t want to waste my time going to lunch with him. I should have listened to my instincts. That was a waste of an hour of my life.
A lunch date has been set up for tomorrow. I really don’t want to go. The thought of even getting ready for said date exhausts me. But I question my feelings. Am I just scared? I’m tired of being all alone. This morning I had to drive past my ex’s house…a house where I used to live. (Just an FYI, my babysitter unfortunately lives in his neighborhood. This was by no means a stalking situation.) Lo and behold, his new girlfriend was getting into her minivan after sleeping over for the night. It just disgusts me that he has so easily gone from one woman to the next, when I am so deeply hurt and scarred from his deception. I really don’t care WHO he is currently having sex with, I actually feel a deep sense of pity for this woman and her three small children, as I know he is going to cheat on her too, after things get “real” and he has to deal with all SIX of their kids together in one household. That’s just how he rolls. (As I’ve mentioned before, he cheated on his college girlfriend whom he lived with, even went on vacation with some bartender while he lived with her- he was very proud of that venture. He cheated in his wife shortly after they were married, he cheated on me, and who knows whoever else he cheated on.) I’m not sure where my intuition was when I met this piece of work. Oh yes…I was not going to contact him, but at the urging of friends, I did. Note to self- do not listen to my friends!
So anyway, I’m probably not going to waste my time going out with this guy tomorrow. My intuition says no. Maybe after all of this trauma, it’s gotten a bit more fine tuned, maybe not.
Update: I did not go out with him. I spent quality time with my kiddos and doing shopping and cleaning. Maybe one of these days I’ll be ready for a date, but for now, I’ll hang with the kids and attempt to muster enough energy for a workout or two. This needs to be my focus. Kids, paleo diet, and exercise.