Despite all of my efforts to eat Paleo (I cheat way too often,) drink plenty of water, take vitamins, and stay active, my body is no where near what it needs to be. The reason? Before I had my son, I ran several miles daily. My local Crossfit box was my hangout. I was FIT.
Now, not so much. This is disappointing.
After my son was born I knew my body was a disaster, so I did something I once thought unimaginable. Something so horrid in my mind that I shudder at the thought. The stuff scary dreams are made of.
I purchased a one piece swimsuit.
It’s over. My twenties have come and gone. The body I once embraced wrecked by having kids. Only liposuction, tummy tucks and boob tacking can fix me now. I’m rocking a one piece at the pool this summer. If I’m feeling wild maybe a tankini.
My SPF will be helioplex 85 to 100. My dermatologist will be proud.
Wide brimmed hat? Check!
Spray tan stocked in my bathroom to cover the beginnings of varicose veins on my legs? Check!
Multiple pairs of capris because said legs look horrid in shorts I once thought I look so sexy in? Check! Check!
When did I turn into a Lacoste polo shirt, wide brimmed hat, sunscreen wearing woman?
Where did my youth go?
I need to get married before all hope is lost. My biological clock isn’t ticking. It’s something entirely different.
I’m afraid my “I give up” swimsuit is only the beginning.