In some relationships each partner is free to do their own thing. I’m not talking about sexual stuff either. What I’m talking about is that in these relationships each person is free to be thereself. Your husband may enjoy watching the football game on Tv while you would rather be outside planting flowers. And in this type of relationship both partners are ok with being their own person and doing their own thing.
The other type of relationship is one in which one or both partners are NOT ok with the other one doing their own thing. Often you see in these relationships that the couple can not do anything apart. If he is watching TV she has to be watching TV and if she goes to the grocery he goes to the grocery.
Now don’t get me wrong, couples have to have things that they both enjoy doing together. It helps the relationship grow and develop. What is not healthy is when one or both partners, has to be so wrapped up in the other person that they can’t do the things they enjoy.
When I was married to my first husband he was so jealous that I could not even read a book when I was around him because he couldn’t stand the fact that I wasn’t paying attention to him. This used to drive me crazy! I have seen several friends who’s relationships fall apart because one person basically is smothering the other person.
Whether you realize it or not you get used to living like that too. When I married my current husband it took me awhile to get used to the fact that it was ok for me to have my own life too. At first I wouldn’t ever read in bed because I remembered how much my first husband hated it.
I think its very important for each partner to be able to do the things that they enjoy doing. Let me add, however, that when those things you enjoy starts coming between the two of you, its time to back off. There is a fine line between time apart and time together. I believe that by having your own friends and being able to do things with the “guys” or go out “with the girls” is important in keeping your relationship balanced.
What type of relationship do you have? Do you and your significant other do things apart or are you always together and how do you feel about it? I’d love to hear from our readers about how you handle being your own person in your relationship. Leave us a comment below.
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