1. He hides his phone. My ex (the one who started having a sexual relationship with someone else in our bed when I was six months pregnant) started sleeping with his phone in his pocket. She was sending him nude photos of herself, and he didn’t want me to see.
2. “Working late” becomes habitual. And you never see a change in the paycheck.
3. When “going out with the guys” become a a more frequent thing in his life, he’s probably not “with the guys.”
4. His best friends may try to tip you off. Watch for cues. They’ll never tell you the truth, because they’re “his friends,” but they may try in their own way to protect you. The Narcissist had a friend who tried…but I was too dense to get it. His friends wives, who were supposed to be my friends, knew and didn’t tell me. I was such a fool.
5. When you have a child, live in the same house, but he hardly ever has anything to do with said child. The Narcissist went for five entire days once without holding our son. On the fifth day I asked him to hold him for a wile so I could take a shower. My son was in his glider bassinet by the time I was done with my ten minute shower.
6. If he asks “are you happy?” That usually means he isn’t but he’s too much of a coward to be the bad guy to end it.
7. He says, “I love you but I’m not in love with you.” Nine times out of ten, he’s sleeping with someone else already or plans to. It’s true. I heard that from the Narcissist toward the end, and refused to believe he was cheating. He was.
8. If a random girl you don’t know is writing, or “marking,” his social media sites, she’s probably someone he’s flirting with or sleeping with behind your back.
9. If your gut instinct says he’s cheating, he probably is.
10. If he tells you he is cheating, believe him. It’s probably the only honest thing he’s told you in a while.