There, I said it. And people are mean. I hate first dates. You meet up with someone and they put their best face forward to attract you. They peacock, if you will. Only to realize possibly months later they have some fatal character flaw or trait you just can’t deal with. Can’t tell you how many times in my seemingly long dating life this has happened. You think you find the right person, the out of the blue, you begin to notice one or several things that grate your nerves. Then the switch flips, and all feelings are gone.
I’m dating because I want to find a husband. I have a full life. I want to find someone to share my full life with, without feeling annoyed or smothered by another person. I saw this quote today in an articleI was reading
“if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong.”
Nothing comes closer to the truth.
I really feel like I have been wasting my time. I feel like Charlotte in Sex and the City:
I feel like I’ve dated all the
jerks, losers, clingers, and high maintenance wrong for me fellows, so I have to be getting closer to the right one…right? In sales “they” say that every no gets you closer to a yes…
Who knows? But you know what? I simply refuse to get on dating websites. When I joined Match and Eharmony, I only found men who were only wanting to “hook up,” or those who were not “ready for a relationship” because someone had broken their hearts, and they wanted to break a few themselves before settling down. People on these dating websites are too readily available. If one doesn’t suit their flavor or won’t be willing to give up as much as someone else will casually, it is on to the next until they get what they feel they need. Believe me, I’ve had a lot of friends on these dating websites too. Their horror stories will make your hair curl!
I just want to find a normal, nice, guy who has a good job and won’t try to suffocate or change me, or feel he is justified to have some kind of control over my feelings and beliefs. He has to be out there, no? Someone who will be nice to my kids and make them feel loved. Someone who understands that I have obligations (job, blog, side business) other than my kids that are important to me. A man who hasn’t put himself in bad situations in his past that won’t come back to haunt me, or us, as a couple in the future. Does this person exist or are my expectations too high?
I’m beginning to think I have gone through all the crazies. And losers. And control freaks. And cheaters, liars, narcissists… Are there any normal men out there in the dating pool in their 30’s? (Oh wait- is that the age they start chasing the younger women in their early 20’s because they need to validate still being young enough to do so?)
I have been dating since I was sixteen…where is he?